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Monday, August 30, 2010

Exoplanets

I'm just worried that we'll all leave and you won't get to come along!
Posted by taocwang at 5:00 AM 0 comments
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Friday, August 27, 2010

Open Mic Night

Ever notice how the more successful observational comics become, the more their jokes focus on flying and hotels?
Posted by taocwang at 5:00 AM 0 comments
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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Falling Asleep

Sweet unintersecting dreams!
Posted by taocwang at 5:00 AM 0 comments
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Monday, August 23, 2010

I Don't Want Directions

Yes, I understand that the turn is half a mile past the big field, but my GPS knows that, too. This would be easier if you weren't about to ask me to repeat it all back to you.
Posted by taocwang at 5:00 AM 0 comments
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Friday, August 20, 2010

Desecration

It gets worse! You know that wizened old monk with the gypsy wife whose voodoo shop we smash up every day after school?
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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Ahead Stop

They actually started the reversed-text practice in 1977 -- not for ease-of-reading reasons, but because too many people were driving backward down the highway blasting the Star Wars opening theme.
Posted by taocwang at 5:00 AM 0 comments
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Monday, August 16, 2010

Sample

There are two or three songs out there with beeps in the chorus that sound exactly like the clock radio alarm I had in high school, and hearing it makes me think my life since junior year has been a dream I'm about to wake up from.
Posted by taocwang at 5:00 AM 0 comments
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Friday, August 13, 2010

Anxiety

Don't need any, thanks. I have a backscattering fetish.
Posted by taocwang at 5:00 AM 0 comments
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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Scheduling

'How about a little ... *family growth*?' 'Dude, that's not until round two.'
Posted by taocwang at 5:00 AM 0 comments
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Monday, August 9, 2010

Pore Strips

I'm sure they're a harmful tool of the cosmetics-industrial complex and all, but my goodness do those strips ever work to pull gunk out of your pores. I was shocked, disgusted, and vaguely fascinated by the result.
Posted by taocwang at 5:00 AM 0 comments
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Friday, August 6, 2010

Still No Sleep

I'm not listening to you. I mean, what does a SQUIRREL know about mental health?
Posted by taocwang at 5:00 AM 0 comments
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Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Savannah Ancestry

She's a perfectly nice lady from a beautiful city, and there's no reason to be mean just because she thinks a quarterback is a river in Egypt.
Posted by taocwang at 5:00 AM 0 comments
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Monday, August 2, 2010

Atheists

'But you're using that same tactic to try to feel superior to me, too!' 'Sorry, that accusation expires after one use per conversation.'
Posted by taocwang at 5:00 AM 0 comments
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