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Friday, July 29, 2011

Lanes

Each quarter of the lanes from left to right correspond loosely to breast cancer stages one through four (at diagnosis).

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Days of the Week

Not pictured: the elongated Halley's-Comet-like orbit of every Rebecca Black lyric.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Speculation

'I was pretty good at skeet shooting, but was eventually kicked off the range for catching the clay pigeons in a net and dispatching them execution-style.'

Friday, July 22, 2011

Mimic Octopus

Even if the dictionaries are starting to give in, I refuse to accept 'octopi' as a word mainly because--I'm not making this up--there's a really satisfying climactic scene in the Orson Scott Card horror novel 'Lost Boys' which hinges on it being an incorrect pluralization.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Standards

Fortunately, the charging one has been solved now that we've all standardized on mini-USB. Or is it micro-USB? Shit.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Time Vulture

In a way, all vultures are Time Vultures; some just have more patience than others.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Cell Phones

He holds the laptop like that on purpose, to make you cringe.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

3D Printer

I just can't wait for the Better Homes and Gardens list of helpful tips for household reuse of sixteen-inch acrylonitrile-butadiene-styrene phalluses.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Strunk and White

The best thing about Strunk/White fanfiction is that it's virtually guaranteed to be well written.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Fight Club

I'm not saying it's all bad, but that movie has not aged as well as my teenage self in 2000 was confident it would.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Delivery Notification

You can arrange a pickup of your sword in Rivendell between the hours of noon and 7:00 PM.

Monday, July 4, 2011

YouTube Parties

This reminds me of that video where ... no? How have you not seen that? Oh man, let me find it. No, it's ok, we can go back to your video later.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Tween Bromance

Verbiage. Va-jay-jay. Irregardless.