| wodeces

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Wikileaks

STUDENTS ARE CALLING PRESIDENT JOHNSON EN MASSE TO PROTEST THE BOMBING AND IT'S JAMMED THE WHITE HOUSE SWITCHBOARD. COULD THEY COLLAPSE OUR CRITICAL PHONE SYSTEMS? HAS THE FIRST TELEPHONE WAR BEGUN? STAY TUNED FOR MORE ON THIS DANGEROUS NEW TECHNOLOGY.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Convincing

And if you labeled your axes, I could tell you exactly how MUCH better.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Tic-Tac-Toe

The only winning move is to play, perfectly, waiting for your opponent to make a mistake.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Weather Radar

Ever notice how there aren't as many thunderstorms now as there were when you were a kid? Much like 'the shuffle on my MP3 player has a bias', this is occasionally true but universally believed. Brains are so interesting!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Genetic Analysis

There's still a chance you were conceived via IVF. But we've checked your mom's college yearbook photos, and whether or not she and your father had sex, it's clear that ... listen, I know this is hard for you.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Arsenic-Based Life

According to a new paper published in the journal Science, reporters are unable to thrive in an arsenic-rich environment.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Positive Attitude

Having a positive attitude is almost tautologically good for your mental health, and extreme stress can hurt your immune system, but that doesn't mean you should feel like shit for feeling like shit.